Lady Une's Birthday
by Leriku
Summary: Treize has the G-boys plan lady une's part. (Warning: this was our first fic: the characters may act nothing like they really are)


One December morn the stars were twinkling, the doves squawking and duo was trying to get his stupid self distrust system to work. "Goddamn thing won't work!!!!"

"What are you doing Duo?" Quatre had come into Deathscyth. 

"I'm trying to get my stupid system to work for once, you never know when you would need it."

"True, well come on. Treize is holding a surprise party for Lady Une and he wants us to decorate."

"Oh, really. How old is the old bat anyway?"

"Umm…. I think she's 22."

"Really? That's old." Duo had a look of surprise on his face.

"No kidding. Maybe we should get her a wheelchair."

"Ha ha. Well, Quatre I was thinking more on the lines of a…. teddy bear."

"A teddy bear?" Quatre inquired.

"Well, if it worked for Heero it can work for me."

"You mean, you actually like Une?"

"Well, I mean, uh, I guess so."

"You're serious?" Quatre looked surprised.

"Yeah. Not the bitchy Une though, the nice one."

Silence

"We'd better go."

"Yeah."

LATER:::::

"Okay, put the balloons there, by the door." Trowa was trying to take command of setting up the party, but to no avail.

"Hn" Heero was a bit ticked off because Trowa had just said more words than he had ever said in a lifetime.

"Whee" Wufei had gone up on the chandelier and was swinging around looking like a madman.

"Wufei, come down here." Trowa stamped his foot impatiently. "You are a meanie!"

"Fine the Barton, I'll be right back."

Wufei jumped down from the chandelier and went into another room.

"Well just come back soon."

DING DONG

"I'll get it!" Heero was glad to take a break from Trowa.

Quatre and Duo were at the door with two presents.

"Hi 2&4 how you doing today?"

"Wow, Heero you actually sounded happy! Are you feeling okay?" Quatre was very scared.

"Yep yep yep. I'm fine fine fine. So what do you fellas want to do? I want to get some hair dye. My hair looks like a piece of cake cake cake. Yep yep yep."

"Yeah, okay Heero. Umm… Relena Kushrenada is here, just thought you would like to know."

"What is with her first it's Dorlin, then Peacecraft, now Kushrenada?" Quatre pondered this.

"Well, Treize just adopted her out of pity so then he could raise her and then her real name is Peacecraft and first her name was Dorlin so that's it." Duo said. 

Right then Wufei came out of the adjoining room.

"Hello big boys how you doing tonight? You like my outfit? I found it in here. It is sooo fashionable. Don't you think? I love this outfit. Yep yep yep. So here's my number why don't you call me. I also have four email addresses you can split between you. Don't fight over them now. ::giggle:: and I know you all want some cake but I cant make any now because I am in this stylish rabbit costume. I love tea. Let's all have tea. No, wait I made some kool-aid. Let's all have cherry kool-aid. Cherry cherry cherry. I want a cherry nose. Nose of cherry, yes that's what I want a cherry nose. Just like my bus driver. La la la la. I love to ride on buses. It is soo much fun. Oooh, a chandelier how fun fun. I think I will climb it. Climb climb climb. I am a monkey. Does anyone have a banana for this monkey? Banana, that is a stupid word banana banana banana. Ho ho ho. Ooh my eyes, they can see every thing but themselves, ::looks in a mirror:: oh wait, I was wrong. I am going to make a cake with a lightbulb on its head. Then I will ask iggle kids to tell me what to give him. Then I will look at a boy in a raincoat then poke the sun. Heee hee hee hee. Sunny sun. ::singing:: I love my sunny sun. Flower flowers flowering flour flours flouring. Hoho. I think I will buy some candy canes and glue them all on this stylish rabbit suit. Well, got to go, I need to go buy my candy canes. 

Silence.

"Well now, that was disturbing." Heero was telling a very obvious fact.

"How much Playhouse Disney have you been letting him watch?" Duo was wondering.

"Well I do have a TV in me so Wufei got it stuck on Disney so that is what he watches." Nataku said threw the open window.

"OH MY GOD! THE GUNDAM, IT TALKS! SAVE US ALL!" Trowa had gone into hysterics and was running around pouring punch on his head.

"Uh, heavyarms doesn't talk?" Quatre asked.

"It must be a mute like Trowa." Duo joked.

Then Wufei returned.

"Old McDonald had a farm E I E I O! And on that farm he (she) had a cow E I E I O!"

Then the song faded as Wufei went into the kitchen to glue his candy canes on him with chocolate frosting.

"Well now, who all says that we should gag Wufei and tie him in the zero one system?" Quatre said.

"Yeah, I could stand for a crazy Wufei" Heero said.

"Naah, I mean, well, Wufei when he is crazy is even stranger than just a few minutes ago before he had the candy canes." Duo pointed out.

SILENCE

"Good point" Quatre said

"Are you going to stand there and talk about candy canes and Wufei or are you going to pay attention to me?" a very impatient Relena said.

"Sure thing sweetie." Heero swooned.

Then Heero took Relena into the kitchen so he could show her the big potato pie he had made. Relena wanted to put those Martha Stewart orange candies on it because her dad loves them.

"So when is the old bat coming?" Quatre asked.

"Around noon, I think." Trowa said.

"But, it's 3:30." Duo said.

"It is? Golly, I think something went wrong." Said Trowa.

"Really? What gave you your first hint?" Quatre said, then under his breath muttered "Stupid freak. Doesn't even know what we are supposed to be doing."

"What was that Quatre?" Trowa was giving Quatre the evil eye.

"Nothing, nothing at all." Quatre lied.

Duo then laughed under his breath. "Um… I think I will go check and see how the orange candies are coming."

"Yeah, sure go ahead. I don't really care. Go."

SILENCE AGAIN 

"So, Quatre, did you read Le Petite Prince?" Trowa asked, trying to break the silence.

"Um… no." Quatre really wanted to get away from Trowa for he was boring him. "You know, I think I should go call Treize and see why he isn't here with Une."

"Fine then, I can take a hint. No one wants me around fine. Oh well I don't really care anymore."

DING DONG

"That could be Treize, hide Trowa, hide."

A few minutes later Trowa and his hair were hidden and Quatre answered the door.

"Hello Trei--- oh, hi Catherine." Greeted Quatre.

"Um… is my brother there Quatre?"

"Yeah, he's hiding."

"HIDING? MY BROTHER IS HIDING FROM ME?! WHY I OUGHTA!"

Right then Trowa crept out of the closet with his hands up in a surrender sort of pose.

"Don't… hurt… me… Cathy… I… come… in… peace…" Trowa whispered while trembling.

"Too bad Trowa, you hid from me so I must hurt you." Cathy said threw clenched teeth. Then, after saying this she came over and slapped Trowa very hard.

"Hmm… where am I? Who am I? Why do I have such stupid hair?" Trowa said dazed. 

"Oh my God, Cathy when you slapped Trowa he went into amnesia! You stupid knife thrower!" Quatre yelled.

"Knifes? You have knifes and you throw them?" Trowa said with fear in his voice. "Don't throw them at me, I don't wanna die."

"Whoa, what's wrong with Trowa?" Duo had come out from the kitchen with an enormous slice of cake in his hand.

"Um, Cathy slapped him and he got amnesia." Quatre explained

"AGAIN? Geez Louise Cathy, that's the third time this week, and it's only Monday." Duo said.

"Who is Cathy?" Trowa asked.

"Duh, Trowa, she's your sister." Quatre said.

"I have a sister? Sister of mine? My sister? Who is my sister? I like that word: sister. Sister, sister, sister. Well, I want a sister. Did I say that sister dear? I have a sister Quatre, did you know that? Do you have a sister?" Trowa said.

"I have 28 sisters." Quatre said. "I told you a million times. You even went out with one." Then whispering to Duo, "The ugly one."

And then Death laughed.

"I'm a brother to a sister. I have a sister, you are my sister. La la la la. Sister of mine. My sister. Cathy is my sister. She throws knifes. Knife throwing sister. I have a sister who throws knifes. Oh baby yeah." Trowa sang.

Right then Quatre whispered something to Duo and then Duo got an evil grin on his face and nodded. 

"Um, Trowa, would you like to go to the kitchen now?" Duo asked.

"Kitchen? YES! (Trowa is talking like MoJo JoJo.) I could stand up then walk to the kitchen where I have never been before because I love the kitchen and I have never been there before and I love going somewhere where I have never been before and it is fun to go somewhere where I have never been and the kitchen is one of those places and…."

Duo and Quatre had gotten tired of this babbling on and they were dragging Trowa to the kitchen while he was still talking like MoJo JoJo.

"Okay Trowa we're here." Quatre said with a gleam in his eye.

"Oh goody goody gosh." Trowa said.

When they went into the kitchen and there Wufei was waiting for them.

"Hello boys. How are all of us today? I got my candy canes and I am now gluing them on my stylish rabbit outfit. Glue I do. That rhymes. Glue and do rhyme. Rhyming words, rhyming words. Nice, nice rhyming words. I like rhyming words. Hey, this candy cane in my mouth looks like I just ate an umbrella that was made out of candy canes. Hee hee that sounds funny, an umbrella made out of candy canes. Candy cane umbrella, that's what I ate. A candy cane umbrella is what I ate. Yep yep yep. I love candy canes. So umbrella-like they are. Ooh, lets take dance lessons like they said on TV. They said that if your kids are getting married than we should take dance lessons. Are your children getting married Trowa because I want to take dance lessons."

"Okay, we'll leave you two alone to talk." Said Quatre.

"Bye" 

LATER::

"I wonder why Treize hasn't come with Lady Une. Or is it Colonel today?" Duo said. He was very bored because it had been three hours since the time Treize had set.

"I don't know. Who knows whether Une girl is the beotch or the or the dictator. You know, I think I will call Treize and see why he isn't here." Quatre said.

"Yeah, sure. I think I would be too… um how do I say lost for words if Lady (Colonel) Une answered the phone. Heh heh." Duo said with some embarrassment.

"You are so strange."

LATER::

"Well, what did Treize say Quatre?" asked Duo.

"He said that the party was next week, we wasted our whole Saturday all for nothing!" Quatre said with amazement.

"No, it wasn't for nothing, at least we got Relena and Heero to finally spend some, :ahem: quality time together. And at least Trowa got a concussion and he finally made friends with Wufei." Duo tried to change Quatre's opinion.

"Yeah, true, and WE got this great cake. Heh heh. Cake." Quatre exclaimed with an evil grin.

So our, story ends with Heero and Relena making Martha Stewart candy, Treize wondering why he hired such idiots to do the party, Catherine playing hide and seek with herself because when Trowa did it, it looked like fun, Wufei and Trowa conversing while gluing candy canes to themselves and talking about past Powerpuff Girls cartoons, and Quatre and Duo pigging out on cake.

THE END


End file.
